After a suicidal crisis is over, you might feel overwhelmed and
second guessing your intervention. Remember to take care of yourself,
seek out support from family members, friends, clergy or counselors.
Don't forget to remind yourself that you did the best you could under
extreme circumstances.
By Karen Cerrato, LCSW, CEAP
Solutions EAP Program Coordinator at FSW
After a suicidal crisis is over, you might feel overwhelmed and
second guessing your intervention. Remember to take care of yourself,
seek out support from family members, friends, clergy or counselors.
Don't forget to remind yourself that you did the best you could under
extreme circumstances.
Sadly, some people do not survive a suicide attempt. Their death
leaves a lot of hurt and anguish for their loved ones that are left
behind. Not only does it affect their loved ones but also their
community. Organizations such as schools, business, police/fire
departments, emergency responders and religious organizations can
suffer. The devastation caused by someone's suicide is far reaching.
Some people who tried to help or survivors of a suicide might feel
shock, grief, denial, anger, guilt, self blame, shame,
sadness/depression or obsessive reviewing of the experience. It is not
uncommon for some survivors to feel a sense of relief when their
relationship with their loved one was troubled, especially after
experiencing numerous suicide attempts. Not many people want to admit
to it and might feel guilty for thinking this way. Although this might
be hard to accept, please keep in mind that the person who died bears
the responsibly of their decision. How do we help the survivors?
Acknowledge their loss by expressing sympathy. Suicide can be a taboo
subject in our society and in some religions; so many people might avoid
discussing the death, which can impede the grieving process. It is
important to show your support. Some tips: Listen, remain objective,
expect repetition as part of the healing process, encourage them to
talk. They might ask "Why?" or "What did I miss"? This question might
never be answered. Try to include the family member in work and school
memorials. Offer to help with child care, cooking errands or other daily
chores. Although it might seem helpful, avoid reminding them of their
other blessings, they might be ready to hear that. Also avoid telling
them they should be "over it" by now. Some people never fully get over
the death of a loved one. Grief cannot be rushed, it can ebb and flow.
Encourage the family or friends to go to counseling or support groups.
This article ended on a sad note. However, there are many
people who survive suicidal thoughts and attempts and go on to lead
positive lives. It can be a long road to recovery but with the help of
family friends and the community there is hope. Since I could not
include all aspects of suicide in this article I am providing some other
resources for more information:
Important Resources:
Connecticut:
The United Way of CT Crisis Hotline "211" is a member of the National
Lifeline crisis network and is the responder in CT. "211" assists
persons in crisis, as well as those wanting to help someone they've
encountered in crisis whether in person, by phone or on the Internet.
Call 211; www.211ct.org/crisis/Default.asp
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention-Southern CT Chapter
Resources for survivors of suicide and those interested in suicide
prevention.
Carol Sebastian, Chair (203) 253-9939; cesebastian1[at]yahoo.com
Nationwide:
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Assists persons in crisis, as
well as those wanting to help someone they've encountered in crisis
whether in person, by phone or on the Internet.
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
TTY: 800-799-4TTY (4889)
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Stop a Suicide Today
http://www.stopasuicide.org
Call Solutions EAP at 1-800-526-3485 for assistance for all of life's
challenges.
It's free, confidential and open to your family members.
Check us out on-line at http://www.solutions-eap.com
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