The death of an employee can
be a traumatic experience for those who are left to deal with the loss of a
team member. This article illustrates some key points to remember from an
organizational standpoint in dealing sensitively with a deeply personal
experience. A key organizational response should include treating the death of
any staff member equally. This means that if we lower the flag to half-staff
for the death of a V.P. we should do the same for all employees, no matter their
position. This Equality of Respect will go a long way in building a
culture of inclusion.
     There is nothing as inevitable as death.
Yet, we still struggle with our emotions and
are concerned about our actions when faced with the death of people we know.
     In the workplace, the death of an employee
or colleague can be especially traumatic. On a personal level, there are
feelings of grief and loss, perhaps even guilt - "I wish I had been nicer to
her when she was alive." On a practical level there are issues to deal with
such as redistribution of work, payout of insurance benefits, etc.
     Death is very personal and we each deal
with death in unique, personal ways. Dr. Alexander Obolsky is a psychiatrist at
Elgin Medical Center in Illinois. "The issue of death," Obolsky says, raises
naturally in all of us issues about our own mortality, the meaning of life, the
value of life, the value of work and our importance to the organization."
     John Welshons, founder and president of
Open Heart Seminars and the author of Awakening
from Grief: Finding the Road Back to Joy says, "the attachments,
connections and emotional bonds we have with people at work can be just as
strong as they are with blood relatives - sometimes even more so." Every time
someone loses a friend in the work environment and goes into work, Welshons points
out, it´s a reminder that they´ve lost that person.
     Recognizing the impact that a coworker´s
death will have on employees, and being sensitive to employee needs are
important first steps in helping the organization to "heal" quickly.
     For human resource professionals and
managers, the death of an employee in the work group often comes as a sudden shock,
creating stress, uncertainty and personal feelings of loss. How to share the
news with employees is an immediate concern that must be handled sensitively.
The first responsibility of human resource staff is to inform, or assist
management in informing members of the organization about the death of a
coworker.
     Staff should be informed as promptly as
possible to avoid speculation and rumors. How this is done depends on the
company, its size and its culture. A small company may call all employees
together. Larger companies may rely on management to speak with their
individual departments and will probably spend more time with those employees
who worked most closely with the deceased.
     A follow up memo to all employees can be a
good way to deal with more practical considerations and to address common
questions that employees are likely to have once the initial shock sets in -
when and where memorial services will be held, if employees will be allowed to
take time from work to attend the services, the availability of counseling,
etc.
     Sensitivity is key - as is the recognition that we all
deal with grief differently.
     "It´s important to let other people be the way they
are - there is no right or wrong here," Obolsky says. "If people want to weep,
that´s okay. It doesn´t mean they´re going to fall apart."
     Managers, too, will react differently to grief. "Some
managers may come from cultures where public expressions of emotion is a
taboo," Obolsky points out. "That´s okay. Don´t do something that doesn´t come
to you naturally. Be genuine."
     "Our culture wants to shut all of these feelings
off as quickly as possible," Welshons says. "A great problem in this culture is
that it has allowed very little space for people to grieve. The tendency in the
work environment may be to say, ´come on, we need to get on with work, we don´t
have time for this.´"
     HR can help by providing "permission" for
the organization to grieve through formal, as well as, informal means. This is
important not only for staff, but for the organization as well, because it´s a
tangible and visible way of saying "this person mattered to us." A short
meeting to discuss the passing of a fellow employee can allow employees an
opportunity to express their feelings and share their grief. Depending on the
culture of the organization, Obolsky says, it may even be appropriate to follow
the meeting with a voluntary prayer session or moment of silence.
     Welshons agrees. "I would recommend
setting aside a particular time in a particular place as soon after the death
as possible to have the staff come together and, perhaps, to have photographs
of the person who has died in a prominent place. Maybe each member of the staff
wants to bring something that´s some bit of memorabilia that they have about
that person, or they just want to bring something to share." He suggests that
organizations might also want to consider inviting someone in from the
community - a social worker or psychotherapist who deals with grief - to help
facilitate the gathering.
     In some cases an employee death may offer
an opportunity to educate other employees on health and wellness issues that
may affect them. This, too, sends a message that "we care about you." For
example, Obolsky tells of an employee who died of breast cancer. After her
death her company brought in a physician to talk to other female employees about
breast cancer and to educate them on self-examination.
     While letting employees know that the
company is concerned about them, Obolsky cautions against crossing the line
between "business" and "family." "One issue that managers have to be concerned
about," he says, "is that business is not family and that the boundary needs to be
respected. We don´t want to promise people more than we´ll be able to deliver.
This may mean avoiding language like ´we´re all family,´ ´we all love each
other,´ but focusing on statements like, ´he was a valuable employee,´ or ´she
contributed a great deal to us.´"
     While the grieving process is different
for each individual and the length of time it takes to deal with the death of a
coworker also varies, there comes a point when the practical considerations of
"getting the job done" must come to the forefront.
     There is no "right time" to do this. It
depends on the situation, the culture and the nature of the job.
     "We make few bones about the fact that, if
the President is incapacitated we immediately have the Vice President take
over," Obolsky points out. "With some jobs that´s just the way it is. It
doesn´t mean that we´re not respectful."
     "If we turn off our feelings of sadness
around loss, if we pretend grieving and dying doesn´t happen, if we pretend we
don´t live in a world in which any one of us could die at any moment," Welshons
says, "what that does is rob us of our ability to live life fully because we´re
always pretending that the reality is something other than what it is - and
we´re always hiding our feelings and sweeping them under the rug."
An employee death is a difficult situation to deal
with. There is no way around it. For human resource professionals, and for
managers, the best response is recognizing and acknowledging the very "human"
nature of an employee´s passing and allowing employees to take the time they
need to grieve.