Workers Seek Well-Being, Inside And Out

When I sat down to work with Randall, a highly motivated and successful sales manager for a medial supply company, he had just endured a complete physical.   He´d been scanned, probed, and poked in every imaginable way.   As we talked, he seemed angry, but I think he was really scared.   He told me that heart disease ran in his family - his father had been only a few years older than Randall was now when he´d had a stroke and died.   Now Randall´s doctor had ordered him to either shape up or prepare to go on medication for both high blood pressure and high cholesterol.   Randall, smart guy that he was, knew exactly what he needed to do - drop 25 pounds and move his body with a little more rigor than walking from his car to his desk and back to his car every day demanded.   He´d known this last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.   Why was getting his health on track such a low priority, I´d asked him.   And he began listing his reasons:   too many hours at the office, too tired after work to exercise, too many big meals out with clients, never enough time.   The usual array of excuses.  

Julie had a different sort of issue.   Late 30s, divorced mom, intensive care nurse in a large hospital.   Julie was in great shape physically - partly a result of running on the beach a couple of times a week, partly just good genes.   Julie´s concerns were with her soul rather than with her body.   From the outside looking in, she appeared to be happy, calm, and generally ´together´.   But it only took one good conversation to find out she felt empty and directionless.   As she put it, "I´m going through the motions of having a life."   Julie felt that the root of her struggle was being too busy working and raising her daughter to slow down long enough to get in touch with what was missing from her life.   "If I had an hour to myself once in a while maybe I could figure out what´s really important to me.   But I just seem to be in ´go´ mode all the time."

As a coach, these are the stories I hear from busy working professionals every single week.   The common thread with these people is that they think their issue is not having enough time.   They come for coaching to "get a handle on my time" or to "learn better time management".   They always look disappointed when I tell them I don´t believe in time management.   I only believe in self management.   Once there is clarity of thought around what the issues actually are, once some goals are set and an action plan is in place, the time factor takes care of itself.   We always make time for that is important to us.

A nationwide study recently conducted by Market Facts TeleNation, Inc. for ihavegoals.com, LLC (www.ihavegoals.com) asked people what was most important to them and offered six choices - work/career, finances, relationships, personal/professional development, service to others, and physical and spiritual well being.   Nearly 1/3 of the respondents ranked physical and spiritual well being as their number one priority.  

So, if well being is that important, why does it so frequently fall to the bottom of the list in our lives?   Why are so many of us flabby on the outside and empty on the inside?   One explanation is that the path of least resistance is to do what we already know how to do.   And even people with the most challenging jobs usually find working much easier than taking care of themselves.   When I´m coaching people who are attempting to have more balanced, integrated lives - and typically this translates to becoming physically healthier and/or more centered spiritually - these are the questions I ask them to consider:

·               When in your life did you have better . . . health, balance, focus, inner peace (fill in the blank with whatever is missing)?

·               What´s different about now?

·               What would be the benefit of getting a handle on this?

·               What is the risk of not doing what you say you want to do?

·               What is your level of commitment to improving the situation?

·               If you were taking care of this issue, what would you be doing in terms of visible behavioral change?  

·               Now what are your goals?

If the client demonstrates enough clarity and commitment then we move forward with setting goals and developing an action plan.   I usually ask them to write down a few specific goals and then commit to at least one action item that they can begin immediately.   This may be as simple as going for a long walk after work or making a phone call to sign up for yoga classes.   The trick is to get into action while the commitment is present and the motivation level feels high.

Inevitably, even people with the best of intentions fall back into their old routines.   They get busy, things come up, they lose focus.   They take their eye off the prize, so to speak.   This is where accountability comes in.   Ongoing coaching is one way to be held accountable, but there are other options.   Declaring your goals and intentions to another person is helpful, as is having a "buddy" to work with.   It doesn´t usually take long to find another person in the vicinity who has similar issues, and teaming up with someone for support can be a powerful tool.  

Here are a few tricks for staying on track once you are clear on your goals and an action plan is in place:

·               Schedule time for yourself and make that time just as important as any business meeting.   If you had a client meeting at 5 p.m. you´d pull yourself away from email and drive to the appointment.   Why is getting to the gym or the hiking trail any less important?   Are you not as important as a client?  

·               Take a few minutes each day to think about the benefits of taking care of yourself.   How are you a better friend, spouse, or parent as a result of taking care of you?   In what ways are you more valuable to your company as a result of taking care of you?  

·               Reward yourself for taking care of yourself - with more taking care of yourself.   Set small goals and treat yourself to something meaningful when you´ve achieved what you set out to do.   Example:   write in your journal without missing a day for an entire month then treat yourself to a massage.  

I love writing about this sort of thing.   And I know if you´ve read this far you are interested in the message.   My question to you is this:   Are you going to take any action?   Or did you just waste five minutes of your life?   Are you going to live the life you say you want?   Or are you going to maintain the status quo and wonder why you are stressed out most of the time?   If you think you don´t have a choice, think again.   Then go out there and live the life you desire.   Life may or may not be short - but why take chances.   To quote Annie Dillard, "The way we live our days is the way we live our lives".  

Karen Childress, certified business and personal coach, is the Founder and President of ihavegoals.com, LLC (www.ihavegoals.com).