The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for mental illness defines acute stress disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as anyone who has "witnessed or has been directly confronted with an event that involves actual or threatened death or serious injury, or is a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others." Research completed at Idaho State University, by B.H. Stamm, in 1999, indicates that risk of trauma also exists for those who are exposed to trauma through their relationship to a person who was a direct target of the event. This risk is called secondary trauma.
People experiencing secondary trauma may feel the same or similar feelings as the person they are assisting. These "empathic wounds" can produce exhaustion, helplessness, malaise, startle reactions, difficulty sleeping, intrusion of the memory of the event, avoidance of the person or information surrounding the event or developing an "I don´t care" attitude.
From the crises at work, we drive home listening to the latest news about the terrorist attack. We call loved ones to make sure they are ok. We make supper. We watch the latest news at the same time. We help with homework. We go to soccer practice, football practice, school events. We wash a load of laundry, pay bills, try to talk for a few minutes with partners, spouses, kids and friends. We try to have a "normal" life.
We are overwhelmed. We are in shock. Feelings surge inside us with no place to go because we are so busy taking care of business, taking care of others. We keep moving because we know how to do that.
For our health and in order to continue supporting others in this time of need we need to stop. Sit down. Take time to breathe. Allow the feelings that have been locked inside to come to the surface. Think about how you feel. Let yourself grieve, cry, shout, bang your fists on the table. Write about what you were doing when the attack happened, how you heard about it, your immediate reaction. Talk to someone who can give you support and listen to you. Take action for your health. Engage in exercise; walk, bike, swim or do whatever you do to work off the feelings.
Rest. Sleep.
Meditate, pray and spend time reflecting on how this has changed your life.
Make plans for what you will do to help. Take action.
Spend time with family and friends. Continue to live life and do the things that are fun too. You are not immune. Remember that this event has impacted you personally as much as everyone else is affected. You need support. Make sure you reach out for support daily from colleagues, friends and family. In doing that you regain your strength to face another day to cope with others´ distress effectively.
Kate Harri, MA, LP - Kate is a seasoned mediator, investigator, and management coach who performs interventions in the workplace ranging from the death of an employee to harassment issues. She has consulted with numerous businesses on workplace violence prevention and training. Kate most recently was on staff at Wells Fargo where she directed the employee assistance program for over 50,000 employees.